Sydney Saturday 21st 1.00pm
Well I hope I still have some people who still pop in to see what is happening in my world.
Well I have kinda been losing it. Well not losing it as such but just angry and pissed off at how my life is going.
It seems that one day it is good and I feel top of the world next I am two steps backwards crying into a box of tissues ranting like a banshee over small things.
I often joke about the pain killers I am on .....but let me tell you I think they are killing me. The same with the heart pills and others I need to get off this cycle....
I need to wake up and be happy..... just be happy is that too hard....
Got blood results back I am extremely anaemic. No news there My Doctor said no iron infusions this time I need a full blood transfusion.....GREAT....
Then to top it off my kidneys appear to be not working properly...Like come on do I not have enough on my plate? What have I done to have all this happen to me.
I changed my wounds on my legs last night and you can now see a "tendon"coming through....Nothing they can do just look after it.Yeah well your not the one doing the looking after are you?
People have good intentions when they say what they need to. Some times I think they just say things to make them feel better. Remember what you say can hurt .Mum and Kev are good they know when to try to comfort me or when to leave me alone.
So I am sick of all the crap. I have said it before but this time I am taking charge.
I AM going to wake up happy and not let things get me down.
I am going to some how change my medications.I know I am sick but from now on I am going to try and deal with it in a different light.
I will take all comments about my sickness and be gracious with them.I will smile when spoken to and mean it..
I am going to use this break at my mums to come back fresh and happy.
So now the three of us are getting off the plane all of us have different thoughts running through their head.The LM will be thinking he can't wait to see Nana and Pop and know he is going to be spoilt.Kev is thinking yeah no phone no work where is a beer.
And me well I am thinking "god please let everything be alright so I can spend the rest of my life with them.They may have faults but I love and need them.....'
I think God was listening.....