Monday, March 21, 2011

All by my self..........

Oh God it.s 1.00am I am still awake can't sleep my mind is like a tumble dryer -everything is spinning around .I just can't settle.I am sitting here once again crying .What a cry baby I have become.

I am sitting in the office listening to the rain RAIN maybe we shouldn't go It's dangerous to drive in the rain and yet we are looking  at a 12 hour drive.

Don't be stupid Dee people drive in the rain all the time.Sure there is accidents but Kev is a safe driver.And what does it matter to me I sleep as soon as the car starts......

Maybe we just shouldn't go that might be why I am so churned up maybe it's my sub conscience saying- NO stay home.

I just don't want to waste our TIME -our MONEY and my HOPES on something that may not work.....

So where is my SIGN or anything to say GO ................

I just after 2 years of pain and heartbreak feel I am setting myself up for another fall.

Paw paw don't they look healthy....a sign ? No just a good photo.


  1. Your "sign" was the email from Tom, and it is perfectly normal for you to be feeling this way. Like I said, we will be with you every step of the way, so chin up, positive thinking and everything will be okay.

  2. Everything will be fine, this is what you've been hoping for, so stay positive. No one is saying it will be easy, but what have you to loose. The Drs. down there don't know what to do to help you so you have to give it a go. My mind is also racing but no where near like yours would be. Think of it as a holiday just you & for a few days from Aidan. Love you & safe driving. See you to-morrow. Love Mum xxx


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Dee x