Broken

 

This sign  says it all doesn't it....It was above my bed. Bed !!!!! What !!! What is happening.....

 

Last Sunday morning around 5.30am I woke up and felt not right...and

to cut a long story short...A short trip to hospital by ambulance  came next....

 

And almost 3  days in intensive care...

 

Tubes down my throat.. my.arms restrained...needles ..oxygen...tears..

 

Flowers from mum and John truly beautiful...Made me smile...

 

Tests... more tests.... blood samples.....more  tests ....

 

I had to have a angiograme  this usually gets done through your groin  but because of my wounds in my legs this had to be done through my wrist, which presented another lot of problems...I have never been so scared in my life.The doctor gave me the statics on what can happen.... how many people die...how many have strokes....They ended up having to sedate me as I was a mess....

PLEASE GOD IF I SHOULD LIVE I PROMISE I WILL........

 

The Little Man left me his favorite toy "Dog Dog" so he could look after me...

 

So now we wait for the results...and reflect about what has happened.

Who knows what they are pumping into me...I don't remember the first 2 days after being put in the ambulance.But Kevin.. Mum and Kerry said I am in the best place at the moment so relax and don't stress too much...

I do remember the tears (mine and Kev's) I remember the kindness and well wishes of others.I will always remember the love and concern that was shown to me...I remember lots of things and have forgotten even more.

So now I have been told the results and what needs to happen..Some I don't want to know about others that have scared the crap out of me.

 

Apparently I have had a minor heart attack while in accident and emergency and also have pneumonia.The Doctor said if I hadn't had been here I may not had survived... In most heart attacks that happen at home the person does not survive.

 

The view from my room..So now it all changes...Me... my life.... everything...

 

No more thinking I am invincible.....no more stressing over the  little things...no more being worried about what other people are saying...Oh and no more "crunchies".....(still have to have my sense of humour hey...)

So after nearly 6 days I have begged the Doctors to let me go home....I want to start a few things ...I have lots of old things to finish off...I want to be with the man I love and my family...It's going to be a new lifestyle change for all of us....

 

So as they turn off the last of my machines and I get dressed to leave here I thank God for keeping his promise and letting be still be here to see my Little Peanut be born (grandchild) to see the Little Man grow up to be a wonderful young man that I will be proud of....to see Kevins 3 sons continue to be the good young men that they are...to be the kind of mother that my mother is -which is the best that anyone could ask for..to be the best type of friend I can be....to see the love of my life Kerry who makes my heart swell with love and now I can watch her as she carries a new life in her and lastly to  see and be with my husband who without him there is none of the above and I dont want anything else except him and his love ..nothing else matters... nothing will ever be the same again for me..things have changed ...I have changed....

 

Goodbye my dear friend "crunchie" you will be missed  ha ha ha I said I have changed not died...(not this time thanks God)..

 

Well now it is my turn to keep my promises I made to God.I don't need to tell you what they are they are between God and Me...

But I have learnt a valueable lesson though I will never take anything or anyone for granted again and instead of just admiring the flowers around me I am going to take the time to smell their scent.

Thanks to everyone...